Thursday, 25 September 2014

I did learn something - things really do happen in threes.

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The way I feel now, I've felt this way two other times in my life.

The first one was when my Dad was dying. When I had to accept that no matter how much I prayed, no matter how many scripture verses I "claimed", my Dad was going to die. There was nothing I could do about it.

The second was when my Kid's Dad left. I knew he had wanted to go for a long time. I think I did eek out more time through begging/pleading/manipulation, but my counselor said it best, "He has chosen to live a life which does not include you." Yep. That was it.

And now this. How unbelievably ironic that less than three days before this happened, I sat in front of all of you and bared my soul and told you how much I loved my church and place of employment, and how desperately sad I was that so many people were leaving.

I had no idea that in 72 hours that number would include me, too. (Some of you thought that my last blog post was about me being laid off, it wasn't.)

To say I was shocked was an understatement. In fact, I think I laughed at them when they first told me. I don't remember much - one of them wore a pink shirt, there was a glass of water there for me, and a letter. It was over in less than 5 minutes.

They were kind. Reasons were financial. Board asked them to reduce staff. I have a good severance package. I can keep my phone, my laptop......

Am I sad? Incredibly.
Am I mad? No. Not my style.
Am I hurt? Incredibly.
Am I bitter? No. Not my style.
I have all the support in the world. The same cannot be said for others.

Through my disappointment the words that my friend Maple shared with her son and his friends as he left for University in England rested on me. "Being loved like this is a wonderful thing, and you are all so fortunate to have experienced it."

I can go with that.  Many people never know the joy of being able to hop out of bed in the morning and almost rushing to work because you couldn't wait to be there. Many people don't know what it's like to count the people that you rub shoulders with on a daily/weekly basis as your family. Many people don't know what it's like to be able to trust the people around you with your life.

And maybe that's why I'm so sad. Because I do know what's it's like. 

(if you need to add more mushiness to your life, please go to YouTube now and watch Kristin and Idina sing "For Good" from Wicked - trust me, you'll be a mess for the rest of the day)

Small Picture
Until the end of time, I will remember September 2014 for the following 3 critical incidents:
          1. Moving (if you want to know what I thought about that, just scroll down my blog) I honestly do not know what I would have ever done without Jarrett. He is simply the best. Such a gift.
          2. This being laid off thing
          3. One word - lice - oh ya, I said it. Horrifying.

Still itching.....

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